Ain’t nobody ever stared at a roof and thought, “Yup. Termites.” Not at first, anyway. You think shingles, you think flashing, maybe a busted vent boot if you’re a roofing nerd. But insects? Especially the migrating kind—ants on a sugar mission, termites on their silent rampage—nah, they’re sneaky bastards. You don’t notice ’em until… you…

Metal roofs got this habit, yeah? They talk. Bangs, ticks, the occasional loud POP like somebody just fired a BB gun at your attic. Especially those slanted or angled ones – they got a mouth of their own when the sun shows up or a cold breeze whispers by. It’s not ghosts, sorry. It’s usually…

Okay. So. Roofs. Flat ones, mostly. The kind where water likes to throw little parties and UV rays come uninvited, setting the whole thing ablaze inch by inch over time. There’s this silent slow-kill happening up there that nobody really talks about until it’s either dripping or the ceiling’s got a weird yellow spot that…

Okay, so first off—spider webs. You’ve seen them. Delicate. Floating. Almost too fragile to matter. But here’s the weird thing. Over time, if you’ve got tiles—ceramic ones mostly, the kind people slap on kitchen walls or bathroom floors—and they get those fine, hair-thin webs stuck on them in, say, corners or along grout lines… something…

So… green roofs. They look cool, right? Like something out of a dreamy European eco-brochure. Or those science museum dioramas where everyone’s walking around with little baskets of kale and the bees are, somehow, not angry. But yeah — they aren’t just some Pinterest thing anymore. People actually do this. Put soil and plants on…

Okay. So you’re staring up at your roof one random Thursday morning, sipping maybe lukewarm coffee that tastes like regret, and bam — there it is. That mossy patch. Sort of fuzzy. A little smug. Feels like it’s been living rent-free up there, throwing a garden party, and nobody even sent you an invite. Now…

Okay. So here’s the thing. Somewhere between choosing paint swatches and arguing with the contractor about metal flashing (which, by the way, no one warns you costs that much), someone might drop this nugget on you: roof color affects how hot your house gets. And yeah, at first, it sounds like one of those “Well,…

So here’s the thing. Nobody really expects their roof to start acting funny after they slap on some shiny new solar panels. You think, alright, I’m saving on electricity, maybe the neighbors nod with respect, maybe the electric company owes me a few bucks now. Then… your roofer calls. Says something’s bubbling. Literally bubbling. You…

First sign? Not the droppings. Not the smell. Not the hole in the soffit that you somehow didn’t notice for six months. It’s always the scratching. Right above your bedroom ceiling. It starts somewhere between “I should’ve gone to bed earlier” and “is someone walking on the roof?” But the footsteps sound… small. Scuttling, almost….

Okay, weird question maybe, but just hear me out—literally. Can you actually hear your roof getting older? Like, not metaphorically. Not the way people say “you can hear the years in his voice.” No. I’m talkin’ creaks, snaps, groans, weird scratchy things at 2am when everyone’s asleep and the dog suddenly lifts its head like,…